I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Semen is not good for contacts.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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