i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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