Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
