thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize