You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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