if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize