girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
