You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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