dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
