Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
