pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize