what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
