I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're a waste of cheezeits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
