i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
