all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
