You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
