Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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