it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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