Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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