Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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