If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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