How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
