just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
