Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
