Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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