So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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