what day is it and did you see me today?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
