I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
honey bunches of taint.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
