I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize