I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
