it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
