Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
