I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I understand Curling. That high.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
