i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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