Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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