Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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