apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
