you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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