The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize