Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
