He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
