8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But theres a keg here and me gusta
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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