There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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