Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
