Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
