Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
