The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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