i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I need moral support for this bender
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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