last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
