I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
