Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
