Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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