You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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