PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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