We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I want is dick and wine.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
