My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
