just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
