Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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