Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
