I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I haven't been this sober since birth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
