I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
a search helicopter?!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
